Sarah remembered to bring sweaters and coats for the girls, and they were needed. I spent most of my time untangling line and putting worms on hooks. Emma caught a little fish; it was maybe five inches long. We threw it back. We ate fried chicken and homemade potato salad.I decided to take a quiet stroll along the lakeshore while Sarah and the girls stayed back on the blanket. I glanced back and watched Sarah sitting there with my girls. Sarah was wearing this mid-calf denim wildly flowing skirt, a white blouse, and a baggy sweater. Her hair was pulled back in a ponytail that was held up and away from her neck with some kind of rubber thing, a scrunchy something. The skirt fanned out from around her waist covering her legs; my girls were sitting in a semi-circle around their mom who was reading something to them. The girls were all sitting in a manner that imitated their mom; they looked enthralled, I’d say worshipful. It was a beautiful sight, and it broke my heart.The picnic was a. J’s evening, not to mention that it cost me a reward I desperately wanted.Over the next week, I tried harder, but Ms. J seemed to grow more upset each day. I couldn’t figure out what I was doing wrong.“Go! Get the fuck out!” she said one day as I brought her usual cappuccino.I took a few steps backward and decided to risk her wrath. “Please, Ms. J, is there something I am not doing or doing wrong? I am trying to meet your expectations.”If she had had heat vision, she would have burnt me to a crisp. “If it weren’t for you, I would be doing my work. Thanks to you I’m stuck here instead of at the library where I need to be. There’s nothing you can do for me,” the venom in her voice hit me like a slap in the face.“Can I take you to the library? Can I go get some books for you?” I suggested.“No, you idiot, this is real research. I need to be able to access non-circulating material. They don’t let just anyone rummage through the stacks,” she shook her head in frustration. “How can I do.
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